Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Healing Hearts, Live Radio Interview

I'm excited to be interviewed by Elizabeth Cuckson this Thurs. Dec. 23rd at 11:00 MST.  You can listen live or at your convenience any time afterward by going to the Healing Hearts Radio link.

We will be discussing my story and book, A Future for Tomorrow, self-worth, media messages, along with tips for parents to help them create a healthy relationship with food for their children, and more.

During the interview you can call in your questions or comments at this number: (626) 213-5697.
This interview will be out of Colorado.
Here is a little info about the radio hostess
Elizabeth Cuckson: Radio Host, Motivational Speaker and Spiritual Life Coach
Elizabeth Cuckson is known for her loving guidance in helping people let go of the past and creating their hearts desire. She hosts a radio show on this topic called "Healing Hearts". Elizabeth is a Motivational Speaker and Spiritual Life Coach who offers a unique and authentic way of coaching based on real life experiences.

I have been impressed with Elizabeth and look forward to talking to her. She barely returned from Vietnam doing charity work with schools and orphanages there. I love the pictures she posted on facebook about her trip.



I hope you join our chat this Thursday, at 11:00 a.m !

Radio Website: www.blogtalkradio.com/elizabethcuckson
Testimonials: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eo7WAvNw1Y
Join Elizabeth on her Facebook Fan page: www.facebook.com/ElizabethCucksonFans?ref=ts

Monday, December 20, 2010

My daughter is struggling with self-esteem, what can I do?

This post is about an e-mail I received from my good friend Karen Eddington. She is the founder of the Cauliflower Retreat which I have mentioned several times.  You also can get on her mailing list to get these great self-esteem tips, updates, and online training content. Just go to their home page http://www.selfworthretreat.com/ website (also cauliflowerretreat.com or org)


"It is common theme I hear over and over. "My daughter is struggling with self-esteem. What can I do?" "My students are so worried about fitting in, how can I get through to them?" "I have a friend who is really struggling to find confidence. Is there something I can do to help her?" "I don't even know who I am anymore."

After ten years of researching these issues, doing outreach work across the state of Utah, and presenting on self-worth topics on a national level, I have started to see some common solutions that need to be made more available as a prevention medium. Here are some quick examples how we can think and act more positively about self-worth:

Recognize there is a principle of choice, accountability, and action when it comes to developing self-confidence.

Understand the difference between self-worth, self-esteem and potential. We need to educate our families, students, and loved ones that self-worth is already established. Our value as a person is not conditional. If we are looking to outside sources to define how important we are, the perception of our worth (our self-esteem-- ah, see the difference) is limited to that same exterior source.

We don't one day, unexplainably, "find" ourselves. We can however create ourselves.

Developing self-confidence is explainable. High self-esteem is not just magically bestowed upon a lucky few people. A high self-esteem comes from developing skills, implementing knowledge and building awareness.

Participate Now Program to Teach Self-Worth Skills

We shouldn't have to wait for a tragedy, a therapy session, or have to blindly struggle to learn these techniques and skills. It is time for these resources to be widely shared in order to help our everyday women and teens. We have an exciting announcement for you. Alongside Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Cory Eddington (he is also the same guy who asked me to marry him nine years ago) we have created prevention tools that can be easily shared with you, without you having to make the drive to visit our outreach center.

Over the coming months we are making available MP3 audio files, e-workbooks, and other educational tools that you can access instantly online. Due to your high demand we are making these programs as accessible as possible.

To watch our recent KSL Studio 5 "Self-Worth Starts at Home" TV interview link here

The next tool we are sharing is on Thinking Errors. This is a BIG concept because not very many people know about them. Yet, we all tend to fall into the thinking error trap. Hope you will enjoy the upcoming free audio.

We will be in touch again soon. We look forward to sharing these skills with you!

All the best,
Karen Eddington
Cauliflower Retreat Self-Worth Outreach Center Program Found"
 
Again,
You also can get on their mailing list for the online training content. Just go to their home page http://www.selfworthretreat.com/ website (also cauliflowerretreat.com or org)


I just want to add my thoughts on how to help your daughters have good self-esteem-- start with yourself. Emulate what it means to love yourself and have a good self-esteem.  Also NEVER let her hear you put yourself down. Not only does she see the same traits that you are putting down in herself but she learns how to act as a woman from you.

Assignment:
If you have a habit of putting yourself down in front of your children, stop.  My challenge is to catch yourself and stop the words, sighs, and other self-deprecating expressions in front of your daughters. 
Next step is to stop them in your own mind and replace them with a positive thoughts about yourself.
Incorporate what Karen mentioned about there being choice behind having a good self-esteem. CHOOSE to improve your own perception of yourself.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Recording Available of Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body Women's Conference

I'm excited to release the recording of Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body Women's Conference which I spoke at.

The presentations were powerful and life changing
The musical performances were touching and simply beautiful.  I am so thrilled to share this conference with you!

The recording includes the following presentations:

Cherie Burton "Nourish Thyself: The Divine Stewardship over Your Physical Temple"

Jarah Christensen "Eating From the Soul"

Haley Freeman "Starving to LIFE"

Jen Marco Handy - Musical Presentation with presentation

Annette Mease “Unlock the Door to Your Brilliance”

Mia Magistro "Breaking Free of Unhealthy Food Obsession and Addiction" (includes musical presentation)

Steffanie England "The Power of Food to Heal and to Harm"

Jessie Clark Funk “Own Your Life” (includes musical presentation)


Since I'm a visual person my presentations are largely visual as well.  That is why when you purchase the recording through me I will include pictures and video links so you can experience my presentation completely.


The convention's ticket admission price was between $30-40. The price for the recording is only 12.99!!

To save resources and for your convenience the recording and related information will be sent straight to your computer.

You can order this women's convention now! Just click below on the BUY NOW  button to get started.






(If demand is adequate a cd will be made available)


SPECIAL PACKAGE DEAL

I am offering a special bundle price for ordering both my book A Future for Tomorrow (copies are signed) and the recording download of the Breakthrough women's conference.
For only 22.95  (regularly 29.94 for both, savings of almost $7.00)
Click below for savings!






Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Getting Through the Holidays with an Eating Disorder

I work with several girls and women all over the world as a mentor. I try to give them hope and support through their eating disorder. This week I have had many come to me with fears about Thanksgiving.
Here is an article that I hope can be helpful.  The writer has gathered several tips from different sources. Here are some, for full tips and more info you can follow the links from the article.

Getting Through the Holidays When you have an ED by By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Eat regularly and in some kind of reasonable pattern. Avoid “preparing for the last supper.” Don’t skip meals and starve in attempt to make up for what you recently ate or are about to eat. Keep a regular and moderate pattern.


Worry more about the size of your heart than the size of your hips! It is the holiday season, a great time to reflect, enjoy relationships with loved ones, and most importantly a time to feel gratitude for blessings received and a time to give back through loving service to others.

Have a well thought out game plan before you go home or invite others into your home. Know “where the exits are,” where your support persons are, and how you’ll know when it’s time to make a brief exit and get connected with needed support.

Write down your vision of where you would like your mind and heart to be during this holiday time with loved ones. Take time, several times per day, to find a quiet place to become in tune again with your vision, to remember, to nurture, and to center yourself into those thoughts, feelings, and actions which are congruent with your vision for yourself.

Remember that there are no “good” or “bad” foods, even at a holiday meal, but be prepared for others to make comments about food, weight gain/loss and diets during holiday gatherings. Decide how you will respond if this happens. A range of responses could include a silent mantra that you say to yourself in your head or a public comment that educates others about normal eating and positive body image. Ask yourself which type of response will be most beneficial for your own personal well-being and use that as a guide.
When it’s time for the meal, try to sit near people with whom you feel comfortable and supported. If this isn’t possible, try to avoid sitting directly by those who will make the meal more challenging.

Don’t leave home without your toolbox - If you’ve established coping skills that work when you’re feeling overwhelmed or having thoughts of acting on your eating disorder – be sure to pack a travel-friendly version! If writing in your journal or listening to a special playlist on your iPod helps you, then throw them in the suitcase! This will also help to maintain some normalcy during the hectic holiday schedule.


Don’t forget to breathe! - This may sound simple, but it is sound advice. Breathing affects the whole body. When you take a few seconds to breathe slowly and deeply, even in a stressful situation, you can actually produce a state of relaxation. Try the following:
• Sit as tall as possible with your feet flat on the floor, and try to take your mind off of the stressful situation or activities around you.
• Take a slow, deep breath in (your stomach should expand as it fills with air)while counting to three.
• Hold your breath for a count of three.
• Exhale slowly (your stomach should contract) while counting to three.
• Repeat this whole sequence three times.
Now check in with yourself. Are you feeling a little better? If so, return to the activity around you. If not, take a little more time out to repeat the process or try another one of the coping skills listed above.

For people with binge eating disorder or bulimia, it can be difficult to survey the holiday feast knowing that you can easily eat it all twice over and then some. If you struggle with intuitive eating and are concerned about taking unnaturally large portion sizes, take cues from the serving sizes of others around you. Don’t make any food off-limits and don’t eat alone.

If you struggle with binging types of disorders, distract yourself after eating so that you’ll be less likely to purge. Check out my more general tips on how to reduce binging urges here.


The holidays are a time to catch up with friends and family you don’t see often and reunions can sometimes invite comments on your appearance, especially if it’s notably different. Again, changing the subject or walking away usually works, as does speaking up — “You’re making me feel very self-conscious. Please stop.” Sometimes the comments are well-intentioned, in which case assuaging the worries of your loved ones can quell concerns and comments — “I’m working with a professional to better improve my health. Thanks for the concern.” For people on the opposite end of the weight spectrum, even loved ones can be cruel in pointing out weight gain. Humor is a great way to diffuse an awkward and tension-filled moment, so be sure to check out these clever quips from Joy Nash. And don’t be afraid to be honest — “Wow, that was a rude comment.”

Let go of perfection – as best as you can. There’s no such thing as the perfect present. I struggle with being an imperfect perfectionist a lot. Which usually means that I procrastinate and end up getting stressed along the way. Sure, it’s only a few days till Christmas, but if you don’t have that perfect present, decor, outfit, or whatever, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Welcome flexibility, even with baby steps.

Be kind to yourself. You know that holidays are a struggle for you and you’ll do the best you can. Whatever you do this holiday season, let it come from a place of kindness and self-acceptance. Accept that whatever plan you have in place, you may still get stressed or have anxiety around food and certain family members. Just acknowledge that you’re trying and be proud of yourself for that. Remember to take care of yourself and your needs, too, instead of getting lost in the hustle and bustle. If that means taking ten minutes to do some yoga poses, write in your journal, take a longer shower or call a friend for support, go for it. And remember to enjoy yourself, as well.

Ok, it's me talking again. =0)   I want to leave a message of hope. I know you can get through the holidays and eventually leave your ed behind forever. I promise there is a life full of joy waiting for you!

Happy Thanksgiving and best wishes!

Friday, November 12, 2010

My Canada Interview

It was a great experience being on the show Get Inspired Radio with Sue London this week. If you missed the live interview you can still listen to it!  Here is the link Surviving Anorexia with Guest Haley Hatch Freeman


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Live Radio Show - You can call in!

Wed. Nov 10th at 9:00 am I am going to be on a live radio show where you can call into the studio and ask me or the host questions. The radio station is Get Inspired Radio out of Canada. I'm excited to do my first international interview!
 Here is what you need to know.
Sue London & GET INSPIRED RADIO presents...

Surviving Anorexia

with radio guest Haley Hatch Freeman

November 10th

9:00 am MST  (11:00 am EST)

www.blogtalkradio.com/life-coach-sue



Haley Hatch Freeman is the author of A Future for Tomorrow which tells her remarkable true story of enduring and overcoming anorexia it also details miracles along the way.

She is an expert on women’s relationships with food, self-worth, media messages, true beauty and other eating behaviors.

Haley is an active public speaker, presenting at conventions, schools, church groups, retreats, and more.

She has been interviewed on TV and several radio shows.

Her story has been featured in national publications and her book is available worldwide. To learn more a about Haley and her book A Future for Tomorrow please visit : http://www.afuturefortomorrow.com// Tune into http://www.blogtalkradio.com/life-coach-sue at 9:00 am MST (11:00 am EST) and get inspired! Phone your questions in to (646) 929-0076 and press 1 to speak to the host during the live show. Chat lines open during the show. Can't make the live show? Tune into the archived segment and listen at your convenience.This show will also be found archived on iTunes podcasts.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Karen Eddington on Studio 5

I was so excited to see Karen on Studio 5 this week.  You might remember me mentioning her before. I was able to speak at her self-esteem outreach retreat this summer. Click here to read my post about that event.

Karen is also behind The Book of Positive Messages. It was an honor for my story to be featured in her book. Click here for more info about The Book of Positive Messages.

This is what Sudio 5 posted about her:
Karen Eddington is the founder and owner of Cauliflower Retreat, self-worth outreach program for everyday women and teens. She shares tips to help every parent build self-worth within the home





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Each of us faces pressures. Sometimes pressures and challenges can cause us to question ourselves. No matter if you're a mother, aunt, sister, or father you can play a vital role in establishing self-confidence within a family. The home is the place where we grow up, the people we live with, and it is the foundation for our values. No matter what circumstances you are in, your example and influence within the home matters.

1. Teach the stable nature of self-worth: Contrary to all the messages we see, our value as a person is constant. Sometimes we feel like we lose value if we get cut from the dance team, gain weight, or don't have an income. Sometimes we feel like we gain value if we have a makeover, lose weight, or are offer a position of important. Self-Worth is always there. Our self-esteem, which is our perception of our value, is often what changes. Teaching the constant nature of worth can help bring a feeling of security.

2. Recognize and replace thinking errors: A thinking error is a thought we may dwell on that is restrictive or false. For example, "Nobody likes me." When we have a thinking error we are often overlooking other facts or positive factors. The moment you catch yourself thinking restrictively, stop, and replace the false statement with something you know to be true. "Yes, people do like me. My mom likes me. The girl in my math class likes me." You can help those in your home to recognize and replace thinking errors. Here are a few more examples of thinking errors: "I have no talents." "I'm a bad mother." "I never win anything."

3. Don't find yourself, create yourself: There are times in life we feel lost. We may have heard or used the expression, "I've got to find out who I am." Part of living is growing. We won't just wake-up one day and find ourselves, rather ever moment of our lives is about creating ourselves. Our identity is about choices and being accountable for our choices. If someone in your home is feeling lost in terms of their identity help them discover things they look forward to, goals they are working on, and work they can engage in.

4. Bring out the best in each other: Take time to look for the good in each other. Treat one another as the person we can become. As families spend a lot of time together, it can be easy to get hung up on our bad habits, focus on tendencies, and label one another. Example: "Mary is shy, Ryan is athletic, or Kim is talkative." Yes, it is good to share affirmations when someone does something good, but don't limit one another. Even if someone in your family is shy, don't keep dwelling on that label. Treat one another as we can become.

5. Be the refuge: You can create a safe environment, through communication, love and support. Especially amid times of struggle, be there to talk, listen and love one another. Make an effort to know what is going on with each person in your home. Take time to learn their hopes, fears, and goals. Ask questions so you understand the best and worst parts of their day. Create that atmosphere of love and safety.

I LOVE these tips! Thanks Karen. To learn more about her and her retreat click here.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

"My Gift to You" by Lori Nawyn

 
My friend Lori has a new book out that I am honored to spotlight. She is a remarkable woman with so many talents, including illustrating and writing.  This is her first published novel and I'm thrilled for her!

 Here is the info from the back of her book:
Trish Ingram works hard to maintain the perfect suburban household—or, at least, the appearance of one. By managing her outer world with lavish attention and rigid control, she’s able to ignore and conceal the darkness of her inner world, which is plagued by traumatic childhood memories of loss. Her terminally ill sister-in-law, Jamie, sees through the fa├žade and reaches out in love to Trish, inspiring her to seek a more meaningful life and a more authentic self. But the childhood scars run deep, and despite Trish’s best efforts, she’s unable to be the wife and mother her family needs.
Devastated by the departure of her husband and daughter, Trish faces the challenge and opportunity of a lifetime. She desires to move forward in faith, but this desire alone cannot mend her family's shattered trust. The hollow realm of denial and fear has been her safe haven. To confront pain and transcend the shadows of her past will require a level of courage she’s not sure she possesses. This gripping story of familial love and conflict tenderly reminds us that forgiveness—of self, and others—is both a difficult choice and a precious gift.


Here is a little about the author (love her!)
Lori Nawyn's award-winning writing has appeared in regional and national publications including Outside Bozeman, Segullah, Deseret News, CraziBeautiful Women, and Latter-Day Woman. She is also a columnist for her local paper and a former member of Utah Press Women. One of her short stories was published in the anthology Stolen Christmas. Her first novel, My Gift to You, was released in October 2010.

Lori is currently writing her next novel, Day, about a mother’s relationship with her son. She works as a freelance artist and is the illustrator of the award-winning children's picture book What Are You Thinking? which was released in July 2010 by ThoughtsAlive Publishing. She and her fireman husband live in northern Utah where they enjoy spending time with their four children and two granddaughters, plus an assortment of dogs, rabbits, and chickens.

This is what Lori says about why she wrote this book:
“My Gift to You” is about forgiving ourselves, despite what we perceive as our shortcomings.

When we judge ourselves as less than acceptable for any reason, small mistakes can cripple us with discouragement. It becomes easy to lose sight of our potential, as well as precious opportunities for growth.

I was an only child with ample time to ponder the intricacies of human behavior. At a young age, I became fascinated by the fact that while several people in my life were happy, upbeat, and in possession of inner peace in most if not all circumstances, some seemed inherently unhappy no matter what happened—good or bad. Money and possessions didn’t seem to have a bearing, and I wondered what did.

Though I’d been baptized when I was eight, my family didn’t attend church. If I wanted to go, I had to attend on my own. It took me a while to grasp gospel concepts, and I found that most of the time I was among those who were unhappy. About twenty years ago I decided to stop asking Why me? and instead start asking What if?

One by one, I replaced negative emotions with those of a positive nature. Instead of wondering why I couldn't make everyone around me happy—and becoming despondent because nothing I did seemed to change them or their opinions—I started asking things like, "What if happiness really is a choice? What if it can be my choice, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels?"

Instead of commiserating over why my extended family couldn't accept me for who I was and what I believed in, I asked myself, "What if I could choose my own thoughts and emotions based on what I know in my heart is right and true?" In short, "What if I accept myself for who I am?"

And, "What if I forgive—knowing that forgiveness doesn't mean acceptance?"

When I began writing “My Gift to You,” I decided I wanted my main character, Trish, to discover something important about herself: I wanted her to discover her own inner strengths and worth—much like I had when I began to unravel my own life.



I think this sounds like a beautiful book and I look forward to reading it.

My Challenge
Lori shares some powerful points above. I also believe we can choose our emotions. Today I would like to challenge you to choose to be happy, content, and to feel at peace. Make choices throughout the day that will help make your choice for happiness easier.
Then try it tomorrow and the next day. With conscious effort, try to focus on what you are feeling and choose to feel how you want to for the rest of the week.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Intuitive eating

At the Women's Conference I spoke at last week I touched some on the concepts behind intuitive eating but I didn't have the time to go into it.
I want to first explain what it is, this is the statement on Intuitive Eating.org:

"Intuitive eating is an approach that teaches you how to create a healthy relationship with your food, mind, and body--where you ultimately become the expert of your own body. You learn how to distinguish between physical and emotional feelings, and gain a sense of body wisdom. It's also a process of making peace with food---so that you no longer have constant "food worry" thoughts. It's knowing that your health and your worth as a person does not change because you ate a so-called "bad" or "fattening" food."



When I started counseling for anorexia after I left the hospital my counselor said he was going to use the same treatment for me as he would a person who weighed 400 pounds struggling with food addictions.
I learned then that overeating or under eating is caused by the same underlining issues.

At that time he introduced a little bit of the concept behind intuitive eating but it wasn't called that. He focused on trusting your body and trying to get me to learn to connect to my bodies needs again. (Also he helped me begin to work out the underlining issues which is key to recovery on the emotional end.)

I then started using the intuitive eating methods without even knowing it by just doing what I discovered was and wasn't working for me.  For example I noticed I actually LOST weight during the HOLIDAYS! After a year or two of this happening I finally connected that it was because I gave myself complete permission to eat whatever I wanted because "it was the holidays" and eating certain treats was part of the celebration. I didn't deprive myself of anything and so naturally I was listening to my body more. I found myself wanting less because there were no "forbidden" foods or amounts. I later learned this is the major concept behind intuitive eating - banning nothing. It really does keep you from obsessing. 
For instants if I told you that you could eat anything you want for the next week except for blueberry muffins, guess what will happen?  You will crave and obsess over blueberry muffins!!!
Restricting leads to obsessing, then eventually when you do "give in" it usually leads to binging, then feelings of guilt, then the cycle often starts over again.

Then I took a course at college about eating behaviors and the principals were taught as a healthy way to create a better relationship with food.  I really grabbed hold of it then, like I said before, I never heard the actual term intuitive eating until recently but people were learning the truth behind these principals then, and they do work and did for me.

Why intuitive eating? Because diets don't work!
95 Percent of Dieters Regain Weight Within 1 to 5 Years (-Tom at RealSelf on Jul 2, 2009)


Here is a summary of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating, from the book, Intuitive Eating, 2nd ed, 2003.
by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FADA

Intuitive Eating Principles
1. Reject the Diet Mentality Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

2. Honor Your Hunger Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.



3. Make Peace with Food Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

4. Challenge the Food Police .Scream a loud "NO" to thoughts in your head that declare you're "good" for eating under 1000 calories or "bad" because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

5. Respect Your Fullness Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you're comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence--the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you've had "enough".

7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won't fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won't solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You'll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It's hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

9. Exercise--Feel the Difference Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it's usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

10 Honor Your Health--Gentle Nutrition Make food choices that honor your health and taste buds while making you feel well. Remember that you don't have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It's what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts.

 
Challenge:
I would like to challenge you to pick a step from the list above and try it.  I would recommend starting with giving yourself unlimited permission to eat all foods. No more restricting!
 
I think there are several books about Intuitive Eating but this is the one that I have gotten the info from and it looks like a great resource.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Women's Conference Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body

Saturday, Oct 16th I was honored to present at a women's conference called Breakthrough: Peace with Food, Peace with your Body, a Cherie Burton event.


There were a lot of "wow" moments, I know I took something valuable away from each speaker. What made this gathering extra effective in my mind was the fact that each speaker (including myself) connected spirituality and being a daughter of God with their presentation. I know internalizing that fact that you are a beautiful, unique, cherished, divine daughter of God is vital for a healthy relationship with food because if you value yourself you will want to treat your body with love and respect. You could not binge or restrict food, abuse yourself with negative self talk, and other harmful behaviors if you truly knew your worth and power as a daughter of God.

(In photo left to right: Cherie Burton, Haley Freeman (me), Steffanie EnglandJessie Funk, Jen Marco Handy.) There were other presenters but these are the ladies that were around at the end who I was able to grab for a picture. Jessie and Jen shared their amazing voices and musical talent in their presentation. I recommend checking them out.  I love Jessie's new inspirational CD (click on Jessie Funk's name above to hear her) and what she is doing with The Ivy Girl Academy
I met some remarkable women both in the presenters and in the attendees. It is amazing how small the world can be and how there is no other explanation for some connections made at these events other than the Lord had a hand in it.
It was a powerful experience for many, if not all who attended.

The conference was recorded. Click here to see the program. I know many of you had scheduling conflict with the event so let me know if you want the recording. You can leave me a message here with your contact info (e-mail) or you can e-mail me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Eating Disorders Online. com

I bumped into this site on accident and was surprised to see my story was posted on a web page I didn't even know about.  Nothing too long or fancy but just wanted to share it. Here it is:

http://www.eatingdisordersonline.com/blogs/general-eating-disorder-blogs/a-future-for-tomorrow-haley-freeman-shares-her-story

Monday, October 11, 2010

Recapturing Beauty the 10 day Challenge

I would like to share a challenge and event that is going on this week at BYU.

http://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/


The challenges start today then next Wed. you can attend their event.
The first challenge was easy for me, it is to not weigh yourself today. I would like to extend this challeng to throw away your scale altogether!  I have never owned a scale and never will. Not only do I truly believe I'm more than a number and it is irrelevant but I don't want my children (especially my daughter) to think the number on the scale defines them. I want weight to be a non-issue and not having a scale helps that happen.


I want to also remind everyone about the women's conference I'm speaking at this Sat. Oct 16th called Breakthrough. Here is an easy way to register, you can also pay at the door Sat. http://breakthroughconf.eventbrite.com/?ref=nf



Hope to see you there!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Break Through: Peace with Food, Peace with Your Body

I'm excited to be speaking at this women's conference with several incredible and inspiring women. It will be held on Oct 16th in Sandy at the  Salt Lake Community College Miller Campus.

I want to invite you all to come and bring a friend!

Here is the schedule, but it is subject to change.

9:00-9:20 am Welcome and Registration
9:20-10:10 Cherie Burton "Nourish Thyself: The Divine Stewardship over Your Physical Temple"
10:10-10:55 Jarah Christensen "Eating From the Soul"
10:55-11:15 BREAK
11:15-noon Haley Freeman "Starving to LIFE"
12:00-12:10 Jen Marco Handy - Musical Presentation
12:10-1:20 LUNCH
1:20-2:05 Annette Mease  “Unlock the Door to Your Brilliance”
2:05-2:55 Mia Magistro "Breaking Free of Unhealthy Food Obsession and Addiction" (includes musical presentation)
2:55-3:15 BREAK
3:15-4:00 Steffanie England "The Power of Food to Heal and to Harm"
4:00-4:45 Jessie Clark Funk  “Own Your Life” (includes musical presentation)
4:45-5:00 Cherie Burton - Closing Remarks


Register:
e-mail cherie@CherieBurton.com
Special price for advance registering is $30 ($40 at the door.)

Make sure to mention on the registration that Haley Freeman sent you! Thanks.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Torn Apart by Diony George

This book reminds me why I love true stories so much! I think there is great power in sharing our stories in the hopes to touch the lives of others. Diony has definitely touched mine and opened my eyes to the evil addition of pornography in LDS families.

Torn Apart's Book Trailer
(Torn apart is Diony's true story but she has written it in third person naming herself Alyson)

Diony and I did a book swap where I gave her my book and she gave me hers.  We also want to share each other's stories with the world so we are posting reviews and interviews on our blogs.

To read her review about my book A Future for Tomorrow click here: Diony's Blog.

Back to my thoughts about Torn Apart--WOW! I felt like I couldn't read fast enough! I know it's a good book when after each chapter or so I found myself telling my husband what was happening and later he would ask me what happened next. 
I admit I have been completely naive in the subject matter of pornography. I knew the church has been concerned for a while and lately their warnings seem to be in every conference and meeting so I knew the pornographic filth had spread to faithful members of our church.
After reading Diony's book I better understood the true evil, addictive power and destructiveness it can cause.
I admire Diony for exposing her true story. I know this book has and will continue to help many.

A big frustration concerning my own book about overcoming anorexia is the believe someone might have that if they don't suffer from an eating disorder or if someone they love doesn't then they wont gain anything from reading my book.  I had this thought for a split second about Diony's book because I've been blessed to not have pornography effect my live but I quickly dismissed that thought and am glad I did.

Diony wrote this on her blog about my book and I feel it applies completely to her own book:

"Haley's story will fill you with hope, and leave you believing, if she could triumph over such a devastating illness, you could triumph over your trials and heartaches, too. "  

Seeing Diony overcome such heartbreak and seemingly insurmountable situations to find a life now full of joy can give anyone hope and courage for whatever their trails are. 

Torn Apart also brings awareness. I have two young sons so in years to come this will be something I will want to be able to protect them from and the best way to do this is to understand myself the power of pornography, I have Torn Apart to thank for giving me this knowledge and resource.

 I also was able to see that pornography can be a catalyst and stepping stone to other abominations. I don't want to give any of her book away but my jaw dropped more than once while reading it. I admire Diony's strength to rely on the Lord to get her though the rough times she depicts in her book.

I think Torn Apart will also give comfort to righteous women who's life has been tainted by porn through no fault of their own. 


I'm glad my path as crossed Diony's and I encourage all of you to get her book and read it asap!
I had two questions I wanted to ask Diony here they are with her valuable answers:
Me: What can we as parents do to prevent our sons from getting sucked into the poison of pornography?

Diony: The best thing we can do as parents is teach our children at a young age, age appropriate information. There is a story on my blog about my son when he was in second grade.

Children need to be warned to stay away from pornography just as they are warned to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Teach them what to do if an inappropriate picture pops up on the computer, or if someone wants to show them an inappropriate magazine or book.

One thing we also do in my family with my kids is we have a laptop computer for them to use. They need permission before logging on and also must use the computer with someone else in the room. That hopefully is preventing future problems.

Me: When did you decide to write your book and why?
Diony: I decided to write my book several years ago, in hopes of helping to prevent another couple and family from experiencing the devastation and heartache mine did. It also shares a powerful message of hope, and that as you turn to God in faith, he will give you the strength to overcome heartache and difficult trials in life.
 
Get her book now:



Also, her book is available at Deseret Book and Seagull Book and Tape.

Thank you once again Diony for writing this book and helping countless souls with our journey here on Earth!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Our-True-Identity

Click on on the Title below to watch the video:

Our-True-Identity

I truly believe that so much of the heartache in life can be avoided if we really know our true identity, our true worth. I love this video. It is only 3 minutes long, the last min is my favorite!
You can find it and more videos on http://www.lds.org/

Friday, August 20, 2010

Facebook Support Group Page



The facebook club discussion about my book as inspired me to create a group page on facebook so we can keep these great topics and support going. The page is titled after my book
"A Future for Tomororw - Surviving Anorexia, My Spiritual Journey"

 
I created this page for a safe, nonjudgmental environment for discussion about eating disorders, self-worth, media messages, faith, true beauty and more.



I want to build a support system and give hope for those who are suffering from eating disorders and/or social pressures.

Those of all religious beliefs are welcome and wanted. I believe relying on our Father in Heaven and in His son Jesus Christ along with knowing your divine worth as a child of God is the key to a full recovery. I want this page to incorporate these beliefs which make it different than the other eating disorder facebook pages.


Since I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) and this gospel was the foundation to my recovery I will be sharing quotes and thoughts related to the church. I also encourage faith related topics (of any religion.)

This page can also be used as a type of book club where we can discuss the book "A Future for Tomorrow" specifically with the author (me) and I will answer all your questions.

Please "like" my page and participate anyway you desire.



Thanks for your support and helping bring awareness to these issues.

Monday, August 16, 2010

BYU Education Week Book Signing


I will be doing a book signing THIS Thurs. the 19th at the BYU book store in Provo on campus during Education Week.

I am scheduled for 4:00 to 6:00 p.m.

I hope you stop by!

Cauliflower Self-Worth Retreat

I had a great time at the Cauliflower Self-Worth Retreat last Wed.
Anyone in northern Utah needs to go check it out. It is a store plus a retreat where presentations and classes take place.  I think it is a great place to take a group of young woman, your daughter, or for us mothers.

Here is Karen Eddington (the founder) presenting the inspirational art "Hope For Tomorrow" which was inspired by my story. I mentioned it on an earlier post. Click here to learn more about it.


 My presentation was recorded by the retreat so I will let you know if/when parts of it are available.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

How are you doing in life?

I've been reading a book called Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth.
The message behind it is powerful and actually one similar to what I learned in a college course called Eating Behaviors. 

Both expose food addictions, eating disorders, and weight issues with not being connected to food at all but about emotions and inner turmoil.
Both taught me to never diet, that they just set you up to fail and that they teach you that you are not capable of making your own decisions about food. Diets also don't allow you to listen to your body.

One concept I would like to quickly share with you from the book Women, Food, and God is this:  How much, when, where, and what we eat all are directly connected to how we are doing in life.

Do you agree?

I think for those of us who have either turned to or away from food as a copying mechanism this statement is completely true. 

I think knowing this can also help us have a "barometer."  When your eating is not natural and if you are ignoring your body that can be a red flag to look deeper to what is going on in your life. What feelings are you trying to avoid feeling?  What is really behind the desire to binge or restrict food?

Assignment:
If you are over or under eating, catch yourself, be conscious about your behavior then ask yourself what is really going on?  Allow yourself to feel what you are trying to avoid. It won't be has painful as you think. Take the necessary steps to heal or fix the issues.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Public Speaking Event and Book Signing

It is the GRAND OPENING of The Cauliflower Retreat Self-Worth Outreach Center  in Brigham City. The celebration goes from Aug 9th to Aug 14th.

My presentation and book signing is Aug 11th at 4:00 in Brigham City, Utah.

The Cauliflower Retreat's address is 1149 S 450 W, they are located right off the 1100 S South Brigham City/Logan I-15 exit.
 
Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My interview with Michele Ashman Bell's

I posted a review of Michele Ashman Bell's latest book, Summer in Paris, a little bit ago and she wanted to return the favor.  She was touched by my story and wanted to post a review and interview on her blog.  I appreciate her kind words and for taking the time to help share my story.

Read her interview to find out my answers to these questions:
"What is something about yourself people don’t know?"


"What words of advice do you have for other writers who desire to have their manuscripts become books in print?"  and much more!



Thank you Michele!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Facebook Book Club Starts Now

If you have read my book and want to join the ongoing discussion just go to the Book Club with Haley Freeman event page on facebook and leave a comment or question.  I will answer them personally!

If you haven't read my book yet but want to join the club you still have time!  The discussion goes until the end of Aug. so get your copy (afuturefortomorrow.com, Deseret Book, Amazon.com [kindle version also available] and other book stores) and pop on in.

I look forward to all of your thoughts and questions! 

Click here to participate

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Book of Positive Messages

I really can't say enough about The Cauliflower Retreat Self-Worth Outreach Center and The Book of Positive Messages founded by Karen Eddington.
I want to tell everyone I know about what amazing things she is doing in the world. I am honored to be apart of it. Karen has published my story in her catalog and my book as inspired art work she sells called Hope for Tomorrow. 
Let me go back and explain the concept behind her catalog and her amazing retreat.  Here is their statement on their home page of their website:

Offering self-worth outreach to women and teens since 2006.

We are bombarded with the idea that if you are successful, attractive, and well liked, then you have value. These messages we battle everyday are leading to depression, inadequacy, and collapse. Plastic surgery, bullying among teen girls, perfection in the media, and eating disorders are only some of the indicators that we need more support.

It’s time for a new message.

Cauliflower Retreat offers a revolutionary new self-worth support network, bringing self-worth support into your home and community. We are an outreach program designed to empower women and teens using positive messages of self-worth. As part of our code of ethics we are not a treatment program and our team is instructed not to act outside scope of practice. Rather, our focus is on prevention by building self-worth, and strengthening your sense of value. Our outreach programs are propelled from our series of products and workbooks that promote self-worth.
We are here to bring out the best in you.

One way I explain their catalog is comparing it to Mary Kay or Close to my Heart. The retreat as consultants that use to catalog to share their products around the United States. I LOVE their products because everything as the purpose of inspiring, up lifting and helping out girls and women know their worth.  I am so thrilled that my book A Future for Tomorrow is involved.  Karen has generously given  my story a full two page layout.


Another exciting thing is my book and story as inspired an artwork piece.
Here's a closer look:

I want to show you more of what is in this book.  It isn't just about inspiring products but also life changing information is in it. If you have a teenager girl this is a MUST HAVE.  Here is an example of one of the spreads.


If any of you are interested in joining the team and being a retreat counselor in your area you can drop Karen a cover letter e-mail (kareneddi@hotmail.com)  or you can apply online at www.cauliflowerretreat.org


GRAND OPENING
The Cauliflower Retreat's Grand Opening in Bringham City is coming up. The celebration goes from Aug 9th to Aug 14th.
I'm excited to be speaking and doing a book signing during it. I'm scheduled for 11th at 4:00.
 
The Cauliflower Retreat Self-Worth Outreach Center address is 1149 S 450 W, they are located right off the 1100 S South Brigham City/Logan I-15 exit.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Media's Dangerous Messages



I could list many examples of dangerous media media messages about food and weight all day but this is one commercial I often use in my presentations to show how false messages about food are all around us.

The part that drives me nuts about this commercial is when it says she will lose her self-esteem and lose her boyfriend all because of what? Eating a hamburger!

It is important that we combat these messages by discussing what is true with our children. Limiting their exposure to media and/or watching with them is a good idea too.

Being aware of the hidden messages around us will help us subconsciously not make unhealthy connections to food, weight, and worthiness. 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Blog Worth Sharing

I have bumped into a blog of a public speaker who has the same passion as I do in trying to reach out to others to help them find their worth.

Her name is Natalie Murray and her blog is named The Beauty Within Foundation.
 Here is a poem she posted on her blog:

One Flaw In Women


Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
 
 
If you like this poem, Natalie has many beautiful post you will also like.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Facebook Book Club

The University of Utah program SPEAK (Students Promoting Eating disorder Awareness and Knowledge) has chosen my book, A Future for Tomorrow  for their online/facebook Book Club.

I know it is a little confusing but the club is actually held ON FACEBOOK. You don't have to go anywhere! It is neat to think of people all over the country, or world for that matter, can all discussion one book via their computers.

All you have to do is read my book then join in on the ongoing discussion that will be held from Aug 2nd to Aug 30th.

Here is the link:
Haley Freeman's Facebook Book Club

(http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=85670011583&v=info&ref=ts#!/event.php?eid=101845906532173&ref=ts)

(If you can't join the event without being invited then add me as a facebook friend [Haley Hatch Freeman] and tell me you want to participate in the one time club-- then I will send you an invite.)

To get your copy of A Future for Tomorrow you can go to my site afuturefortomorrow.com which has free shipping and you will receive a signed copy or you can go to Deseret Book (also on deseretbook.comamazon also on Kindle on amazon.  Soon to be available on barnesandnoble.com and Orem's Barnes and Noble.  

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Unexpected Review

Something that means a great deal to me is hearing from my readers of A Future for Tomorrow.  When someone is touched enough to take the time to write me or even leave an unsolicited review on their blog it truly means the world to me.
Today I was surprised by both.


Click below to read Brenda's words about my book.
Brenda's Blog Another Small Adventure.

Thank you so much Brenda!!

A Future for Tomorrow on Kindle

I am excited to announce that my book is now available to be downloaded on amazon's kindle!
Clink on the link below:


Friday, July 2, 2010

Choose to Forgive Yourself

I had an interesting experience the other day.  When it comes to trying to be perfect, I am doing extremely well compared to where I have been in my life. But I still catch myself being way too hard on myself and not feeling like it is ok for me to error.  Maybe it is leaving a spelling error on a facebook status, or messing up while playing the piano in church, or any of the other imperfections I can list but I have to fight to not obsess over them.  I have to constantly be reminded that it's okay to be human. 

I had a powerful moment the other day when I realized the power of two things, one is choice, and one is forgiveness.

I have discovered over the past years that you can actually CHOSE your emotions. Yes, emotions, feelings, and your reaction to those feelings are actually all in your own control. 

Eleanore Roosevelt knew this principal, we all know her quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Love it!

Here is a quote from Elder David A. Bednar, Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in his talk titled And Nothing Shall Offend Them
"It ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else."

Or maybe you have heard people say they CHOSE to be a survivor instead of a victim.

The freedom of choice is a great blessing we have been given on this earth and is part of our Father in Heaven's plan.  
If you can choose your feelings then think of what great power this gives you.

I have decided to not let my imperfections consume me and to not feel unworthy or inadequate because of the lack of ability I have to be perfect.

Now this takes me to the next step of forgiving myself.  I did something the other day that I thought was less than acceptable, nothing big but it might have left me scolding myself for hours in the past.  This is what I DECIDED to be my inner dialog or self talk instead, "It's ok. I forgive you. I don't have to be flawless. I don't have to be everyone's hero. I'm going to be kind and gentle to myself. I want to show love to myself with or without perfect behavior."
WOW what a freeing moment that was! It literally changed something inside me.  Not only trying not to obsess over the mistake but to actually be forgiving and loving toward my actions was freeing and brought me peace.
I'm still a work in progress but this is a concept I want to keep practicing. I want to keep forgiving myself and allowing myself to be human.

Assignment:
Be kind and gentle to yourself. Allow yourself to feel your own love and forgiveness to yourself.