I'm going to be speaking at a Fireside in Leamington Utah (Near Delta) this Sunday. I've spoken in many firesides and other events but I think this is the first time I've seen them advertise my event in the newspaper. I thought this was pretty cool.
Another neat surprise was when I saw who was on the same newspaper page with me. The amazing Chad Hymas. Chad spoke in the same area last week and the paper was giving a report of his remarkable story and fireside. I'm honored to be paired with this incredible man and speaker.
The fireside is open for ANYONE! My presentations are for everyone but especially for young women and parents. I'm speaking at 7:00 p.m, this Sunday, Nov. 18th. I hope to see you there!
Amongst the ciaos I realized I didn't post a link on my blog to the article that was written about me and my book. Here is the link: Eagle Mountain Mother Speaks Out On Anorexia
The article actually came out a day earlier than I was told, but luckily I was able to still get my hands on a copy. It was fun seeing how the interviewer added my family's perspective in the article. I think it is the first reporter that interviewed my parents as well as myself.
The reporter for this article ended up having me speak at her Stake Day Camp for 11 year old girls. I presented for them last week and enjoyed sharing my message with those sweet daughters of God. I always hope and pray that something I say will have a lasting and positive effect on their lives.
Life as been crazy like I mentioned in my last post, but now things are amazing in our new town and new home! I can't believe this journey has finally found us moved in and almost all unpacked and home decorated. I'm awe stuck that from just a few quick but powerful promptings we have been lead to such a beautiful outcome. Thanks for all your support and checking in on our family throughout this transition.
Saying "sorry" too often could be a sign of insecurity. Find out how to replace the apology and appear confident and secure.
At a recent conference a woman asked, "What is the most common struggle you see women face?" The answer is: dealing with inadequacy. So many people don't feel good enough.
One way to overcome our inadequacy is in how we apologize to people. There are times common courtesy is replaced with our feelings of insecurity. Think about the times we casually use the words "I'm sorry" and the reason you say it. Phrases like, "I'm sorry to bother you." "I'm sorry I haven't gotten back with you sooner." "I'm sorry-- you're in my way." "Sorry I can't make it." There are times we use this phrase, not out of being polite, but because we incorrectly assume people are going to think badly of us. By apologizing, we feel like we're creating a back-up plan to defend ourselves IF we are not good enough. People respond to confidence better than doubt. Here are three ways you can replace your apology. 1. "Sorry for the mess": Picture toys on the floor, mail scattered on the counter, and dishes left in the kitchen skin. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and you have unexpected company. You may feel that if one thing is out of place at home, it automatically means you're a bad mother or a bad homemaker. When you answer the door, you may immediately feel a need to apologize for the state of your home, that your home is not good enough, that people are going to think badly of you. Recognize the false assumptions you are making and consciously make an effort to replace your doubt filled apology with confidence. Celebrate the day you can welcome people to your home even if you have crayon marks on the wall and laundry piling in the corner. Stop apologizing start welcoming.
Replace the apology with "Welcome to my home"
2. "Sorry I'm not very good" You have just been asked to stand in front of a group of people and talk. Your heart may pound. Your mind races through what to say. One of the first phrases you express is, "I'm sorry." You feel sorry you are up there, sorry they have to listen to you, sorry that it is not "perfect Lisa" that they hearing from. We often apologize when we are asked to share our ideas, or when giving a presentation. The apology in this setting comes when we feel we are not prepared or not smart enough and inadequate. A common phrase people think is, "I'm not smart enough. _________ is smarter than I am." Instead of focusing so much on yourself, and your shortcomings, turn the focus to others. Stop giving in to your fear of what other people think and start seeing other people.
Replace with "You are going to learn..." or any other phrase that includes recognizing another person. Take away the "I." 3. "Sorry it's not much" You go to the store and spend hours searching shelves, rows, and racks, for the right gift. After carefully selecting the perfect present, you wrap it with care, even down to placing on detailed embellishments. When you arrive at the party you take your precious gift, hand it to someone you care about and say, "Sorry, it's not much." Why, when people put so much time and effort into finding the perfect gift we still feel a need to apologize for it? In case they don't like it, think that we chose incorrectly, or judge that we didn't spend enough money we give ourselves an outlet to protect ourselves. Remember the impacts of kindness on the lives of others and let that give you strength to stop apologizing. From the simple to the well thought out, the next time you share a gift with someone remember what a gift is. It in itself is an act of kindness. It is enough. You are enough. If a person is not accepting of your gift, then that other person is the one with the problem and not you. Stop second guessing yourself and start remembering the power of your compassion.
Replace with "I was thinking of you"
Karen Eddington is a Self-Worth Analyst and has spent over ten years researching women and teens. She is the author of Today, I Live and directs many community outreach programs on self-esteem. For more information you can go to www.kareneddington.com
To say life has been chaotic would be an understatement. My family and I have been on the roller coaster ride called selling our house and moving. Thankfully after all the dips and twists we have come to a peaceful coast at this moment.
Amongst this craziness some exciting news regarding my book is coming... my story is being featured in the Daily Harold!
It should go to print within a week so I will post again once it is out!
My sweet friend Diony George has another book published and ready for release! The cool thing is I actually wrote a piece for her and my story is published in it! It's actually not about my eating disorder but another experience I felt compelled to share.
I can't wait to experienced this book. I know the stories will touch and inspire many lives.
I'm sure you have heard about Stephanie Neilson's remarkable story before, but her courage and strength has really touched me lately, here is Stephanie's story:
I love and participate in the campaign BYU does to encourage women to recapture their true beauty. I found this segment about it and I wanted to share it, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JTdKyP0m4g
This year they have a new calendar of 10 challenges to do. They have a challenge for each day, plus a journal prompt.
Here is a downloadable list of them:
It is amazing!!!
(https://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/10daychallengeSM2011.pdf) Day One: Body Kindness Day Two: Spiritual Gifts Day Three: Self Talk Day Four: Meaningful Compliments Day Five: Self Expression Day Six: Media Resilience Day Seven: Makeup Reflections Day Eight: Body Love Letter Day Nine: Supermodels vs. Role ModelsDay Ten: Spread the Love: Social Media
Again, you can download the details to these challenges here
I hope you recapture your TRUE BEAUTY! If you have a teen or pre-teen daughter I think this would be a great project to do together!
I would love to hear about your experience so feel free to leave a comment of e-mail me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com
Last Sunday in Relief Society a mother and daughter sang this song. It was very touching and sang beautifully. I have heard it before and even sang it as a young woman but had nearly forgotten about it until this week. One verse especially is powerful, I bolded those lyrics below.
I hope you can walk tall because you are a daughter of God today and always.
Walk Tall Your A Daughter Of God
Right now I have a prayer deep within my heart,
A prayer for each of you there is a special part.
That you remember who you are and him who lives above.
Please seek for him and live his way; You'll feel his love.
(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand.
Long before the time you can remember, Our Father held you in his arms so tender. Those loving arms released you as he sent you down to earth. He said, "My child, I love you. Don't forget your great worth."
(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand.
This life on earth we knew would not be easy.
At times we lose our way his path we may not see.
But remember always that you are not alone.
He'll take your hand, He loves you! He will guide you home.
(chorus)
Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God,
Be strong and remember who you are,
Try to understand, you're part of his great plan.
He's closer than you know, Reach up; he'll take your hand
"We often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough." is just one of the messages I found impactive while watching the Oprah show finale. I've watched Oprah off and on throughout the years and always found her to be a kind-hearted, generous person with great depth.
I watched her last show this week and discovered that it was full of eternal truths and inspiration. She said,“There is a difference, you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness.” How true and powerful that statement is! Read that again, do you feel worthy of happiness? Worthy of success, health, and of blessings?
A few weeks ago in a church meeting the speaker said, "Don't hesitate to take those blessings. They are there for you, reach out and claim them." I think women especially are timid to accept blessings because we feel unworthy of them. Why do we do that to ourselves? Of course we aren't perfect and never will be in this life but we don't have to be perfect to receive all the blessings and gifts our Father in Heaven has for us.
How would you feel if you prepared a special gift for your child and they felt unworthy or undeserving to accept it? That would break my heart. Don't be afraid to reach out and claim your blessings!
Back to the finale of the Oprah show, here is another statement Oprah shared by Dr. Taylor,"Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space. " I like this because it acknowledges that we can make decisions and chose the kind of energy we existent to others. She continued by saying, “Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.”
Oprah shared another piece of wisdom:"What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."
"[A calling] lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. Butyou also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."I have experienced this feeling every time I've spoken about my book and story, whether it was a small group of students or an auditorium full of women at a convention, I've been overwhelmed with the sense of knowing this is where I am meant to be at this moment.
There were several other concepts worth mentioning (you can read her entire show by clicking here: Oprah Finale ) but the last one I want to mention is about validation.
"...Everybody wants to be heard. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"I looked at each of my children's pictures and repeated this for each child. I connected deeper and was more in tune to each one of them afterward. It has made me simply more aware.
Then in an age appropriate way, I have said this to each of them.
As time goes on I'm sure I will need another reminder of this principal so I'm going to make a wall hanging and put one in each child's room with this saying. Then I'm going to explain to them that this is how I and their dad feels, as well has their Father in Heaven.
This is an interview I will never forget! I was a guest on the radio show called Feed Your Soul hosted by Irma Haggith on May 17th.
It was an evening show out of Ontario Canada.
Ironically, during the days prior to the interview I was wondering, how I could make this interview different and interesting. I've done many interviews and I was trying to think of a different angle or new information to share. Well, this interview definitely was different!
Since the interview was out of Canada I called in to the show instead of actually being in the studio like I have done for local stations. I've called in to several other interview shows this way and they went perfectly.
This time however we had technical difficultly. For some reason the show's switch boards were not recognizing me or anyone calling in. I could hear the hostess but she couldn't hear me. Luckily, there is a function with this type of radio show where the listeners can chat and type in their questions or comments during the interview. I was able to log on to that web page. From there, the hostess spoke and asked me questions and I typed my answers which she read and shared with the listeners. Wow, what an experience! I couldn't share as much information this way but nevertheless we were able to complete our interview and hopefully shed some light on eating disorders and my book.
After a few chuckles between the hostess and myself (what else could we do) I was invited back for another time.
I think Irma (the hostess) did a wonderful job relaying the information and filling in the space so there was no dead air.
Here is the link to listen to our improvised interview: Feed Your Soul
Tomorrow evening at 6:00 (MST) I will be interviewed live by Irma Haggith "Lab Lady" on her show FEED YOUR SOUL. You can listen to it on your computer just by clicking on the link below.
I was contacted by a representative on behalf of OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network to let me know about the new series Addicted To Food. They were interested in my feedback and also encouraged me to help spread the word about this show since they were aware of what I do.
I actually saw previews for this series and had already set my dvr to record it. I’m interested because as we know eating disorders, no matter at what end of the spectrum they are, (compulsive eating or anorexia) they have many of the same underlying causes and treatment is often the same.
Here is a little info about the show:
Addicted To Food follows eight people with eating disorders as they struggle through an intense 42-day treatment plan led by unconventional therapist Tennie McCarty. Follow their joys and pain as they battle against addiction and create hope for their future.
Addicted To Food first episodes airs tonight, Tuesday April 12th, at both 7:00 and 8:00 MST. I have Direct TV so it is on channel 279 for me.
There will be a live chat with Tennie at http://www.oprah.com/own during tonight’s show. I'm planning on participating.
You can watch the first episode online at: http://www.oprah.com/own-addicted-to-food/Addicted-to-Food-Welcome-to-Treatment-FULL-EPISODE or learn more about the show at http://www.oprah.com/addictedtofood.
Yesterday morning, April 4th, 2011, I was on Good Things Utah! It was an amazing experience. The ladies were kind and made me feel right at ease.
I've been overwhelmed with all the positive feedback, book orders, facebook comments, letters, phone calls, speaking invitations, and simply put the love and support from all of you. Thank you so much! It has meant the world to me.
If you missed it here is my segment!
You can help me share my story by going on the Good Things Utah site and click the "recommend" button.
Here I am at the ABC studio.
Here is part of the GTU set with Nicea doing a cooking segment.
I'm getting my mic placed in this photo.
I'm talking to the Ladies of GTU here during the commercial break. I felt like I could visit them all day!
Special Discount:
I announced on the show about the discount going on now, the deal continues until Friday and free shipping ends tonight at midnight. Hope you take advantage of this deal!
Ever since I knew I was going to pursue writing a book I imagined one day being on the studios of ABC4 Good Things Utah telling about my story and book.
Guess what!?!?!?
I'm scheduled to be on Good Things Utah this coming Monday, April 4th!!!!!! Show airs on ABC4 at 10:00 Live!
In just two days one of my dreams will come true! I'm elated for this opportunity to share my information with the their large audience. I can't wait to meet the ladies and hopefully help viewers.
Of course I will be posting all about it so don't forget to pop back in here after Monday. I know my segment will also be available on their website after the show.
I don't know for sure their ticket availability but I do know they have a live audience and here is the link to get your tickets, I believe they are FREE. It would great seeing you there! (Their studio is in Salt Lake City)
Beautiful and valiant are the two words that come to mind when describing the young women I spoke to this week at a Stake Fireside in Pleasant Grove.
What amazingly strong young women we have in these days. As I spoke to the chapel full of their beaming faces I felt the overwhelming love their Father in Heaven has for them. The sad part is seeing how few of them knew it.
My presentations change a bit depending on the event, however when speaking to women of any age I always feel the impression that these daughters need to be reminded of their divine worth, inner beauty, and the power in knowing that they're daughters of the most powerful God.
No doubt Satan knows his greatest tool in keeping these young women and us from actually completing our sacred mission on earth is keeping us blinded to the fact that we are deeply loved spiritual daughters with infinite worth and potential.
Think of that, literally we cannot fulfill our purpose, or mission, part of our reason for this existence on Earth if Satan can destroy our self-worth.He can halt our service to others, and our personal growth with this one tool.
Wednesday I shared quotes such as the quote I have as my blog header above and this one:
“As daughters of God, you cannot imagine the divine potential within each of you. Being a daughter of God means that if you seek it, you can find your true identity. You will know who you are. This will make you free—not free from restraints, but free from doubts, anxieties, or peer pressure. You will not need to worry, “Do I look all right?” “Do I sound OK?” “What do people think of me?” A conviction that you are a daughter of God gives you a feeling of comfort in your self-worth. It means that you can find strength in the balm of Christ. It will help you meet the heartaches and challenges with faith and serenity.” --- James. E. Faust
As I spoke I saw many girls squirm in their seats as I told them how beautiful and amazing they were.
I saw girls uncomfortably ducking as if saying "that doesn't apply me, my worth is not great. I am not beautiful."
I get it. I was once there and still need to be reminded at times that I'm good enough, and loved.
I too need to rise above such feelings at times, but how grateful I am that the debilitating low self-esteem is something I have left behind forever.
I pray the girls and women I speak to will feel their worth and commit to sustaining and cultivating this truth.
Wonderfully, on Wednesday night there were many that have internalized these principals and radiated with this conviction.
But seeing the few that battled to accept their self broke my heart. I imagined how it must feel for our Father and Mother in Heaven watching their children be oblivious to and even denying their great value.
What can we do?
There are several things as individuals we can do to feel our worth and things we can do to help our children.
Of course I am always saying start with yourself! If you have a good self-esteem that will flow to your children.
Today I would like to stick to one challenge that I extended to the young women at the fireside, simply pray to know your worth, pray to feel His love for you.
I know our Father in Heaven will answer your sincere prayers.
"It is so inspiring for anyone to read! Even if you or no one you know has an eating disorder. It is a book of endurance, faith, hope, courage, parental unconditional love, knowledge of the life after death, and a renewal of life......a miracle!" --Kristen, Pasco, Washington
“I truly couldn’t put it down. It’s the best book I’ve ever read and I can’t [wait] to start over and read it again!
"It is truly inspiring. I had so many ‘a-ha’ moments
“Haley, thank you thank you thank you for this amazing gift!
“A Future for Tomorrow is truly an inspiration and blessing for girls everywhere to read, especially those who are struggling with their own worth.” – Laura Fullmer, Perry, Utah, recovering anorexia patient.
"I was enthralled the entire time. It's truly powerful, I felt Haley's beautiful, indomitable spirit pouring through those pages!" Cherie Burton, Mrs. Utah 2004
"Wow!I have been so consumed by a book that I fell asleep reading last night and woke up at 6am to start reading again. I have been very touched. Not only do I feel uplifted by this story but I see how I need to change my view of myself and treat my body better.
If you want a sweet read I would suggest you get a copy of her book! Amazing!" --Brenda H.
“This book is so important. What lives it can impact. I know for myself it gave me hope and blessed me with an even keener sense of our Father's love.” --Lori Nawyn, graphic designer, author, artist, and photographer.
"Beautiful! I was left breathless several times. I felt as though I was right there beside Haley, witnessing all these events, my heart breaking for her, her family, and friends." -- Kelly, Eagle Mountain, Utah
“A Future for Tomorrow" is a book that shows a young woman's faith, courage and hope.
I feel that Haley's book, is a gift to the world, in helping fight anorexia.
I know that many people's lives will be blessed because of her gift in sharing her story. It is written very well and is a very compelling story.
I for one, am going to be sharing this book with as many people as possible.”—Sheila, book reviewer and pod-cast interviewer.
"Haley's book, written in the first person, is as tense and dramatic as a thriller novel. "--Tamara Heiner, book reviewer and writer.
"I absolutely loved A Future for Tomorrow . It is beautifully written and chuck full of the spirit." -- Mandy, Daybreak, Utah
"I am so happy that Haley has written her experience, the world needs her. She has a gift of written word." -- Glory, Evanston, Wyoming
"I was so amazed of how the impossible can be possible with the gospel and priesthood blessings. It made me appreciate the gospel and know that anything can be possible with His plan."-- Erin, Washington DC
“A must read for every women and girl.” --Cristianne, Eagle Mountain Utah
“Haley Freeman has provided a uniquely personal and revealing account of how destructive eating disorders can be as well as how they can be overcome. Her story offers insight and hope to families impacted by this illness.” --Shawn C. Edgington, PH.D. Psychologist
"It truly spoke to my spirit. I could NOT put it down.” –Alicia, Eagle Mountain, Utah
"A Future for Tomorrow is a heart-wrenching look into the mind and heart of a young girl who struggles with anorexia and shows the reader what it's like to battle the disease every day. While at times the story is sorrowful, in the end I came away filled with the knowledge that for all those who suffer with debilitating eating disorders, there is hope. There is promise. They can be made whole again and look to their futures with joy and happiness as Haley did, leaning on her relationship with Jesus Christ and coming to a deeper understanding of her true place as a daughter of God." --Tristi Pinkston, LDS Author and MediaReviewer
“I am so overwhelmed by the spirit Haley’s words have sent to me. Even though I haven't struggled with a battle over food, I have often struggled with self doubt and feelings of unworthiness, much like many women I feel do. Her story can touch so many lives because so many people will relate to her feelings. I truly feel it is inspired.”-- Megan, Salt Lake City, Utah
"It's so nice for me to read about someone's else who had such a similar experience to mine--someone who I could really relate to and vice versa. Because one of the terrible things about anorexia is the feeling of being completely alone. It's nice to know that there is someone else out there who can really understand." --Micaela, recovered from anorexia
"I think this book should be the first thing you see when you walk into Barnes and Noble, on a huge rack display." --Dr. Jack Stockwell
" What an amazing story. I want the world to read it!"--Liz, Scipio Utah
"Her story shed a whole new light on this disease for me and I will never again hear the word anorexia without thinking of Haley's story." --J. Adams, Author and motivational speaker
"I became very attached to Haley and her battle to become healthy - and felt the need to know what was going to happen to her next. I HIGHLY recommend this book to EVERY young lady, woman, and parent. QOTC Rating: Five Stars" -- Danyelle Ferguson, Writer, Book Editor & Reviewer
"After reading Haley's book, I had the desire to look at myself through Heavenly Father's eyes and see the good in His child. And I have Haley to thank for that..." -- Stacy Gooch Anderson, Author & Reviewer
"Haley tells a vivid and inspiring account of overcoming physical and spiritual roadblocks to find the true road to happiness." Rebecca Talley, Children's Author and LDS Author
"As I finished the last page and closed the book, I found myself thinking that all youth, youth leaders and parents should read this book. It provides a depth of understanding that everyone could benefit from. Not only could it help those struggling with the same issues Haley did, but it can provide parents, siblings and leaders with the knowledge and understanding they need to help anyone who is dealing with anorexia or who could develop this disease. It’s a must read!" --Shari Bird, Tooele Utah
"A Future for Tomorrow would be a great book for a young woman and a mom to read and discuss. It would be a meaty book for a book club to discuss. It is sure to spark a lively debate." -- Liz Adair, Author
"This book is not meant just for people suffering from an eating disorder but for anyone who has ever doubted there self worth or if God loves them. It is truly inspiring.
"Haley has such an amazing ability to express herself through words. I love her attention to detail and being able to help the reader visualize the people she mentions. She really is able to draw in the reader into the experience. I love the way she writes!"--Marci, South Jordan, Utah
"I sat on a bathroom floor for five hours finishing the book because I couldn't put it down. I stayed up all night with two kids to send off to school the next day. That's how great this book was and is something I think everyone should read.
"Haley's story has brought me peace in remembering my mother's last days and she has helped me to understand myself in ways I couldn't before. I wish I could give a copy of this book to each of my young women, but at least I can use the principles I have learned to help them to love themselves and love their bodies and see themselves the way that Heavenly Father does." --Karen Hoover, Writer
"Haley Hatch Freeman for her courage in laying open her heart and soul to her readers. She doesn’t hold back, and on every page you can feel her desire to help others through her own experience.
"It is very much an LDS book, but I would give it to others not of the LDS faith in a heartbeat, because of the in-depth look into the eating disorder." --Jaime Theler, LDS non-fiction Author
" This book has the potential to serve as a wake-up call to us as parents, friends, and women. "--Nichole Giles, Writer
"In 'A Future for Tomorrow,' Haley bravely recounts her journey to the brink of death and back again in a way that is both touching and inspiring.
"The frankness with which Haley describes her journey is remarkable. She opens her heart and mind to her readers because she feels called to let others know how devastating anorexia nervosa can be."--Bestselling LDS authors Lael Littke and Carroll Morris
"I couldn't put it down. There is no words to discribe the emotions that cursed through me. I cried through most of it, laughed at the funny parts, got ticked off at some of the doctors, and cheered for Haley at the end, literally. A Furture for Tomorrow was inspired in every way. I am sad at what she went through, but grateful that she is courageous enough to tell a story every daughter of God needs to hear. I thank Haley for taking me on her journey, I learned so much, and got a glimpse of what many many young woman are going through these last days, and more importantly, a great reminder of the love our Heavenly Father and Savoir have for us." --Catherine M. Lang, Writer, Logan, UT.
"I highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with or trying to help someone struggling with an eating disorder. If I'd known things then that this book has helped me to learn, perhaps I could have helped her more. It is also great for the casual reader, an interesting view for those who have never dealt with this kind of self hatred or addictive behavior. Surprisingly, for such a depressing and scary topic, it is extremely uplifting and inspirational. Definitely five stars!" Melody Litton, Oak Ridge, Tennessee