Mall Signing

It was a great day to catch a lot of people in the mall this Saturday since it was the last Saturday before Christmas. I enjoyed talking to and meeting all the people I did. I heard a lot of stories of families effected by eating disorders whether it was their friend, daughter, or even mother.

I hope this Christmas when people open their present (my book) they don't only have a gift of a fascinating read, but of something that might change and help their lives.

Mall Book Signing

I'm inviting you to come meet me and get a signed copy of
A Future for Tomorrow
this Sat. Dec 20th at
Provo Towne Centre Mall.
I will be doing a book signing
starting at 4:00 pm
and going until at least 6:00 pm in front of
Walden Book's
which is on the top floor of the mall .

Hope to see you there!

No More Victim Consciousness

"When we feel like victims of circumstance, we find ourselves feeling powerless, helpless, or hopeless. Stripped of our power psychologically, we sit back and wait for someone else to bail us out or change things for the better." Rebecca Ruggles Radcliffe Author of Enlightened Eating.

Often eating disorders are caused by the person trying to gain a sense of control. Eating is something you have completely control over, no one can make you eat. Anorexia is a complex disease that usually has many factors combined to produce the symptom of starving yourself. Often one of the major triggers is enduring some type of traumatic experience where they feel they did not have control.

The exercise I have chosen this week is to help you gain back your self of power and stop playing the victim.

Exercise:
Take out your journal or whatever and fill in as many answers to each of the following statements as possible:

If __________________ hadn't happened, I would not be able to _____________.

If __________________ hadn't happened, I would not have done _____________.

I am stronger because ____________________________________ ___.

I am who I am today because __________________________________.

Young Women's Activity

I was honored to be invited to do a presentation for a young women group. They were each given my book and after my talk were able to bring their books up for me to sign to them individually. It was more of a relaxed atmosphere oppose to the firesides I've done so I was excited to have more feed back and leave the time open for questions. I hope something I said touched one of them. I truly delight in working with the youth and have a love for them.

I passed out an anonymous survey with four questions:

Do you like the way you look?

Are you on a diet?

Have you ever dieted before?

Does your mom or older sibling diet?

The reason I ask about their mother or sibling, especially on older sister, because statistics show that when a mother diets the daughter is 20% more likely to diet and/or have an eating disorder. The next highest factor after having a mom who diets is if they have a sibling who does.
I found the same results. I was surprised that every paper I got that said they did not like the way they look and yes they have dieted, 100% said yes to a mother dieting. 100%!


Every paper that said no, they haven't dieted and yes they liked the way they looked was 100% on no, their mother did not diet. (However one did answer this way but she did have a dad on a diet. It shows us it is mothers who are the most powerful role model for their daughters)


This tells us what a powerful example we show our daughters. I remember thinking "if "so and so" is on a diet and if my mom is on a diet then I guess I should too."

I was happy to see that the majority of the girls did say they liked the way they looked and did not diet, way to go!

I have more pictures of me with the girls but since this is a public site I will only post this picture:

Thank you ladies for inviting me to speak to you, it was a pleasure!

Love Letter

This week's challenge is to write a love letter to yourself. Write the positive things about yourself, why you're beautiful, why your unique, and why you are worthy of being loved.

This is a great activity for a youth group, or your own teen or pre-teen. If you do it for an activity have them seal the letters in envelops with their mailing addresses on them. You mail their letters back to them and tell them to read it every day for a week, and keep it where they can read it when they are feeling down.

A Myth of the Perfect Book

This was written and posted on Tristi Pinkston's blog a while ago and it touched me. I feel these words apply to my own book. I wanted to share it with all of you.
Tristi is a wonderful writer and Author of three published books and one coming out this spring. This is her post:

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Myth of the Perfect Book

I have decided there's no such thing as writing the perfect book.

We might write books that are funny and uplifting, dramatic and thought-provoking, or spiritual and enlightening. We might write books that take us to the edges of our strength and force us to push a little harder, to transcend everything we thought we were capable of, to create a new limit to break later on. We might cry as we outline. We might tremble as we write. We can sit back at the end and heave a great sigh and feel that we truly have done what we set out to do . . . and yet, the book is still not perfect.

There will always be typos. There will always be places where we could have shown when we told. There will always be times when we confuse a character's name or forget to hide the key under the mat, thereby making the reader wonder how the hero got in. There will always be something to criticize, regardless of how good the book is.

But that doesn't mean we stop writing.

It means we continue to push ourselves. We continue to stretch ourselves, finding our wings, exploring, expanding, striving. We never, ever give up. But we do it with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is going to find something wrong with our book.

And that's okay.

It means we're human.

And it means we'll take what we learned from the experience and be grateful for it. We'll grow, we'll hone our skills, and we'll progress. A writer who refuses to learn, who refuses to stretch, will never truly reach the heights he otherwise could. It's the bumps we encounter along the way that knock off our rough spots.

I've had a lot of bumps.

But I'm grateful for them.

I can fly higher now than I ever could before.


Thank you Tristi for these words!

"I love you" challenge

Here is my challenge for the week.:

Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I love you." Say it out loud. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but trust me and try it for at least a week straight every day, even several times a day. Try to mean it, if you don't say it anyway and maybe by the end of the challenge you will mean it or be closer to not hating yourself.

Read the quote I have on my blog header now to begin your challenge.

Like always, I would love to hear your experiences.

Pressure to be Thin

I have a challenge for you, for an entire day keep track of the number of times you hear or see references to dieting. Count conversations, commercials, products you walk by in the store, TV shows and so on. I will do it too. You may be surprised to discover how much pressure there is for thinness coming at us from all sides every day. What a message this sends to our teenagers!

I'm anxious to hear your results.

FREE SHIPPING

For a Christmas Special I am offering FREE SHIPPING!! Just click on the "buy now" button on the right side of the blog to order. If you leave me a note with the name the book is for I can personalize your copy, other wise you will still get a signed copy, just not a personalized one.

I have had several people buying 5-6 copies to give to all their sister-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, friends etc. If you are ordering 4 or more contact me either by leaving your contact information on a comment or e-mail me at afuturefortomorrow@gmail.com for a special discount.

I was also touched by the generous actions of a Young Women's President. She is purchasing a copy for her entire young womens. What an inspiration she is in the efforts of reaching those who can benefit from the message in my book.

Weekend of Book Signings

My first book signing was at Confetti , Antiques, and Books in Spanish Fork. This is me with the owner Donny. He sells my book on his site (confettibooks.com), on amazon.com , and in his store.

I've been excited about my next book signing since I found out about it. I was honored to be there with some amazing authors. It was at Provident Book in Pleasant Grove. What a neat store! I recommend it to everyone. They have great toys, games, books, paintings, candy and more! I love how they want to get the community involved with act ivies presented by their store. Starting with the full day of author book signings yesterday and continuing with book clubs where authors come to discuss their books and more!

This is me with my friend and great author Tristi Pinkston (http://tristipinkston.blogspot.com/)

I was excited to see her there. She has done a lot for me and I respect her greatly!

What You Can Do

I am often asked what someone can do to help an individual who they think has an eating disorder. Here are my thoughts and some information from National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA).

"Parents, siblings and close friends play a significant role in guiding and supporting others. In many cases, individuals with eating disorders cannot recognize a need for help in themselves, and it takes a strong, caring individual to reach out.
If you are worried about your friend’s eating behaviors or attitudes, it is important to express your concerns in a loving and supportive way. It is also necessary to discuss your worries early on, rather than waiting until your friend has endured many of the damaging physical and emotional effects of eating disorders." -NEDA

I agreed that confronting your loved one is imperative. However, as a parent talking to their teen, I know first hand it may only led to fights and in my case running to my room in tears feeling that they didn't understand.
Parents still need to confront their teens no matter how confrontational. Here is a suggestion that I think is invaluable. My close friend Micaela, who is also a survivor of anorexia, said she thinks parents need to inform themselves about the disorder beforehand. Learn that the symptom of starving yourself is rooted in deeper issues and isn't a "phase" and it isn't as easy as "just eat."
Talk to your teen by telling them you understand that their behavior comes from a serious underlining problem that needs to be treated. Let them know you are not disappoint in them, that you have unconditional love for them and be honest about your fears.

There is power in numbers. After hearing concern from friends, relatives, siblings, and parents their combined "accusations" did make me realize there was a problem. But the disease was too powerful and addictive. It controlled me and I didn't know how to stop it. That is why it is important to get your loved one into treatment. A person can NOT beat this disease alone. 22% of anorexics die, that statistic drops to 2-3% if you get treatment.

Don't give up on them. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom. It took me literally feeling my body die and knowing my body was shutting down before I got help. Don't let your loved one reach this point. Tell them the disease will only get worse and they will never be happy with their appearance or number on the scale. I hated myself just as much or worse at 150 pounds as I did weighing 85. (I'm happy to report I no longer harbor any self-loathing thoughts)

Next, know there is HOPE! Your friend/child can overcome this disease and leave it behind forever. I have been completely recovered for over 11 years and have never fallen back. A happy full life is obtainable, it starts with you confronting your loved one and getting them professional help.

for more information:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-resources/family-and-friends.php

Are You at Risk?

Here is a test you can take to see if you are at risk for an eating disorder. You can also use this for a guide if you are concerned for a loved one. Just answer the questions the best you can based on your loved one's behaviors
http://www.anred.com/slf_tst.html

Book Signings

I am doing a double book signing this Saturday, November 15th. I hope to see you there!

AM Book Signing
The first location is at Spanish Fork at the Confetti, Antiques, and Books on 275 N. Main Street from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM.

PM Book Signing
There's a new store opening in Pleasant Grove on Saturday, November 15th, called Provident Book/Humdinger Toys. It's located at 661 W. State, Pleasant Grove, UT (in the same strip mall as Timpanogos Cyclery). It's just north of the PG Rodeo/Fair Grounds. I'm going to be signing there at 6:00-7:00 pm and would love to see you.

To get there, if you're on I-15, take exit 275. Turn EAST toward Pleasant Grove. When you come to the stoplight at the intersection of Pleasant Grove Blvd and State St, turn RIGHT/SOUTH. The store will be on the RIGHT/WEST side of the street.

Here's an updated list of all the authors who will be there:

10:00 A.M.
Christy Hardman
Larry C. Porter

11:00 A.M.
H.B. Moore
Angela Hallstrom
Tristi Pinkston

12:00 P.M
Julie Coulter Bellon
Monte Shelley

1:00 P.M.
Terri Ferran
C.S. Bezas


2:00 P.M.
Jewel Adams
Herman DuToit

3:00 P.M.
Jennie Hansen
Doris Dant

4:00 P.M.
N.C. Allen
Gilbert W. Scharffs
K.L. Morgan

5:00 P.M
Candace Salima
Alan Cassidy

6:00 P.M.
Blair Tolman
Haley Hatch Freeman

7:00 P.M.
Monte Nyman
Brent L. Top

I'm excited to be apart of this amazing line-up!
To learn more about these authors and their books go to the link below: http://www.providentbook.blogspot.com/

Interview by Nichole Giles

Writer Nichole Giles reviewed my book during my virtual book tour and she wanted to continue with my story by interviewing me and posting a blog about eating disorders. I am very touched by her extra effort to share my story and help reach those who may be suffering.
Her posting holds a lot of valuable information about eating disorders as well as my interview, view it by clicking on the link below. Thank you again Nichole!
http://nicholegiles.blogspot.com/2008/11/eating-disorders-cancerous-killers.html

My Favorite Reviews

Thank you to those who participated on my virtual book tour. The reviews are all in and the tour is over. I appreciated all the reviewer's insite and kind opinions of my book. These are my favorite reviews, the ones that touched me deeply.

http://queenoftheclan.blogspot.com/2008/10/blog-tour-future-for-tomorrow-by-haley.html

http://stayinalivewithstacy.blogspot.com/2008/10/future-for-tomorrow.html

http://karen-hoover.blogspot.com/2008/10/book-review-future-for-tomorrow.html

I enjoyed all the reviews, to see them they will remain on the side of my blog.