Friday, April 10, 2009

No More Comparing

“Comparing yourself to others can … result in either feelings of inferiority or superiority. … Accept yourself as the unique person that you are without comparing yourself to others. Doing this will help you love yourself properly without conceit” (Clark Swain, “Q & A,” New Era, Mar. 1979, p. 38).

I feel that one of the fastest ways to feel bad about yourself is by comparing. You can never win when you play the comparison game. Usually because we compare one of our worst traits to others.

If you compare yourself and feel like you are not as beautiful, or talented then your own sense of worth will diminish.

If you compare yourself and feel better than that person then you lose because that is being prideful and judgmental. So why do we keep doing it??? I've decided long ago to STOP. It's not worth it.

This week try to catch yourself if you are comparing yourself to others. Notice it and stop it.
This next excerpt from a talk only partial ties into the theme for this week's challenge but I think these are wonderful points by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Seven Thoughts That Are Helping Me in the Journey to Peace

1. Pray for guidance. Many of our choices as Latter-day Saints are between good things. Prayer can help us discern our best possible options.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others. Chances are you compare your weaknesses to other people’s strengths.

3. Be gentle with yourself. Christ is a gentle teacher. He is gentle with us, and we also need to be gentle with ourselves. Acknowledge you are doing the best you can. Be accepting of your efforts and those of others.

4. Forgive yourself. If you fall backward—brush yourself off and start where you left off. All is not lost.

5. Don’t worry what others are thinking of you. It is really only important that you know how the Lord feels about you.

6. Acknowledge the fruits of your labors. Write them down in a journal. Even during the Creation of the earth, the Lord acknowledged the beauty and effectiveness of his tasks each day: “God saw that it was good” (Gen. 1:12).

7. Be thankful. We know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25). Rejoicing in Christ and in our many blessings is the best way to show gratitude. A daily closing prayer is a great opportunity to thank the Lord for all your abundance.
One Step After Another

“We don’t have to be fast; we simply have to be steady and move in the right direction. We have to do the best we can, one step after another. …

“The only thing you need to worry about is striving to be the best you can be. And how do you do that? You keep your eye on the goals that matter most in life, and you move towards them step by step. …

That is easy enough. We don’t have to be perfect today. We don’t have to be better than someone else. All we have to do is to be the very best we can.”, “One Step after Another,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 26.


Micaela L. Hess said...

That is so true. I think that even as LDS women and mothers we tend to do that a lot. At least I do. And not just with weight but many different things (i.e., "She keeps her house so much cleaner than I do", or "She is so much more patient with her kids that I am", etc.)

But I do remember an analogy that Brother Rasmussen taught in seminary years ago. He mentioned how a lot of women in the church tend to compare themselves with each other. And oftentimes we compare our worst traits to someone else's best traits. He called it something like "comparing their front room to our storage room". We see someone's tidy front room and we think they are just the perfect housekeeper. But we don't see their whole house, so we don't really know. We're not being fair to ourselves when we compare our faults to the apparent qualities of others.

It's something that I need to work on. Thanks for the reminder!

Haley Hatch Freeman said...

I loved reading this and hearing your thoughts on this. Thank you Micaela. I have to stop myself from comparing all the time.
I liked what Bro. Rasmussen said. Did you know he is my cousin? I only had him for half a semester since he and Bro. Jolly started teaching my senior year.
Thanks again for your comment!

Micaela L. Hess said...

No, I didn't know that Brother Rasmussen is your cousin! How cool is that? Is he on your mom's side or your dad's? His brother Hans lived right behind us in Murray. We were in the same ward and his daughters used to babysit Hannah. Small world!

Haley Hatch Freeman said...

Bro. Rasmussen is on my Dad's side- the Hatch side.